Archive for Facebook Thoughts

Proposed Facebook Filters

These are the types of things that I would set up personal filters for if I had such a power in Facebook:

“This will bring tears to your eyes”  

I find that, pretty much without exception, posts with this text involved are ultra sappy, shallow attempts at triggering an emotive response, but only succeed in doing so for those in chronic need of psychiatric counseling.  Everyone else gets nauseous.

“The Top 10… [anything]“

These sites are generally very poorly implemented ad machines that, even if the content were interesting, as in “Top 10 Celebrities that Don’t Cut Their Nails”, they make the content all but unobtainable due to incessant popups piling up on each other.  If your happiness hinges on getting tighter buns, or better defined eyebrows, or obtaining torrential virility, then the popups you see here might be just the thing for you.  Come to think of it, any subject with a number in it is probably suspect as well, e.g., “27 Reasons Why You Should…”

 “Adorable… [anything]“

I love animals and I love kids, but you can only see so many videos of dogs walking awkwardly with their new shoes on or kids that… well, I guess now that I have little kids I can’t get enough of them.  But even I don’t presume to assume that’s true for everyone, and I don’t find it that hard not to characterize kid posts as “adorable,” one of the most annoying words in the English language due to it’s chronic abuse.

“Amazing, Unbelievable”… and all other superlatives T

This basically translates to body manipulations by freakishly flexible people, punks doing things in mid air that end badly, orchestras unexpectedly converging on town squares one by one, zits being popped with what looks like the content of a jar of mayonnaise, and kids playing a piano or guitar at very adult levels of proficiency.  Don’t need ‘em – life’s simply too short.

“Share This If You… blah, blah” 

This one’s maybe the worst of all.  The author tries to guilt you into passing on their (without exception) inane post by creating the impression you are an uncaring monster if you should be so bold as to elect not to.  I feel bad for these folks, as they are desperately in need of a life, but I feel ever worse for the stooges that fall prey to their pathetic attempt at social media bullying.

 

Facebook Thoughts…

Like for most people, Facebook represents a two edged sword for me insofar as you are forced to confront the best and worst of humanity – or at least the best and worst of individuals on a given day.  I confess that I am most vulnerable to disappointment in the political category – I never thought I had much of a political opinion until I ran across some of the conservative (and to a lesser extent) liberal rants so rampant in Facebook.

Anyway, I felt the need to have a spot where I could diffuse some rage with regard to Facebook without having everyone I know unfriend me.  So there you have it.  Brace yourself.